...and beyond!

I'm getting totally anxious and worked up about the potential new job. Right this minute they are checking my references and background. I am who I say I am, so I shouldn't be worried, but that doesn't stop me from having a total 100% FREAK OUT every twenty minutes or so. Oh, I'm calm and confident? Wait four minutes. Ding! Time to envision not getting the job, or there being a mix-up at the company that is in charge of the reference check, or there being a mix-up at the courthouse (or where ever they go to do a criminal background check) and suddenly it looks like I've done something terribly wrong...In the words of Cathy, "ACK!"

Right now I'm riding a wave of calm that I hope will last. I'm just trying to envision kinds of dogs I like (lately these have been very appealing, probably due to our friend's awesome puppy) and perhaps some things that would look nice in my apartment. Is this how positive visualization works? Like, (male announcer's voice) "Picture everything you feel positively about," but then (my voice), "AAAAAAAACK!" (Sorry, I had to.)

Lev's birthday is next week and it means favorite cake and favorite things! I hope he is beyond happy on Thursday. Big 33!

take tuesday

Yesterday was the Big Interview. It went really well; it would be so great if they were to hire me! Ack! I want it so badly...but, I need to remember that I have other oars in the water, so to speak. I decided at the last minute to wear my glasses (instead of my contacts). To me, the glasses say, "Hire me. I am a competent editor who is comfortable with her intelligence." If I don't get hired, you will know what to blame--should've worn the "hotter" contacts. But seriously. I want this job.

Lev was in a great mood this morning. He was singing and making jokes on the ride to work. He feels my anxiety about this job. I probably won't get it. But it would be so incredibly great if I did! Cross your fingers please. Mine have been crossed since 1:30pm yesterday.

*UPDATE: They called me back! They want me! They are doing a background check and then drafting an offer letter. OH EM GEE!!!!

"Just be yourself."

In high school I tried out for a one-act play. I had been in a school play and was not impressed by the over-actors, which seemed to be nearly every player. Before the tryout I thought about my favorite television shows and how the actors barely seemed to be "acting"--it seemed so natural! (I probably should have thought about my favorite plays that I'd seen, but I was only 15. Forgive me.) Before the audition, I was backstage with a case of nerves. Robert, the theater teacher, said to me, "Just be yourself."

I auditioned. I was relaxed and, I thought, "natural." A senior that I was friends with (oooooh) was even the director of the one-act. I thought I had it in the bag.

To my utter surprise, when the parts were posted the next day I had not been chosen. I asked my friend why he didn't choose me and he replied that he didn't think that I was "interested."

Today I'm going to another type of audition--a job interview. I want this, like, really want this, and I hope that the interview goes swimmingly. I'm going to be "Lizzy plus." Which is to say, I'm going to take the "be yourself" advice seriously, but I'm going to be my best self.

Wish me luck!