March 15, 2011

little fish/big pond

Last night I had the privilege of participating in a conference call with eight very smart and accomplished women from Editopian. Conference calls are hard for me; I get tongue-tied and end up saying little for fear of looking silly or stupid. I like to be able to read the crowd and look people in the eye, and converse that way. Conference calls make me spacey, which makes me nervous, which means that three minutes have gone by where I'm stressing out about not listening, which means that I haven't been listening.

I'm looking forward to the next ten years. I want to become one of those smart, accomplished editors that I was on the phone with. I feel that I am at the cusp of a successful future; I just need time in the saddle, so to speak, to raise my confidence and skill level.

My lifelong goals are to have a successful marriage, build a satisfying career where my presence matters, and to raise great kids that we love. That isn't asking too much, right? Lev and I can handle goal number one and three, but my second goal? The one about the career? That is all me. And I feel like I'm standing at the foot of the mountain, looking up.

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