master cleanser

I've gotten pretty good at cleaning things--the house is fairly spotless, the dishes are never in the sink (they are clean and drying on the rack), and my hair is usually within a day or so of a shower. This "master cleanse," however? You know, the cleanse-diet that I put myself on yesterday because I would like to get a jump start on losing weight for the wedding? WELL this is one kind of clean that I'm pretty bad at. Last night I skyped with my bff who lives in Spain and we went over different types of cleanses.

We discovered the "honegar" diet, which consists of mixing honey and apple cider vinegar ("honegar"), and you eat regularly but add in ACV and honey before each meal. At the end of our skype sesh we determined that the honegar cleanse would work the best...because you get to eat.

But I am going to stick with the master cleanse, especially now that I've found out that my friend in New York not only does the master cleanse, she completes the master cleanse as well, and sometimes does it twice a year. Of course, this cleanse is giving my mother sympathy hunger pangs; when we spoke on the phone this morning I told her that a photo of a chicken pot pie in the New York Times looked delicious and she replied emphatically, "That is because you are hungry!"

The way I see it, I'll be proud of myself when I complete it. And I will have lost all my readers, because I for one know how utterly obnoxious it is when a writer gets too navel-gazey. So my promise to you, friends, is that I will talk about this "master cleanse" as little as possible and get back to writing about cake in eight days.